Finding Value in Who You Are. (reposted from 2/17/2012)
Friday, February 17, 2012
Finding value in who you are. The Rationalization of Respect.
The huberice of MDs has been on my mind lately. My husband, John and I recently had dinner with a very accomplished MD and her Pediatric MD boyfriend. She is a notable Pediatric Heart Surgeon in one of the largest hospitals in the world. By all means, she has bragging rights, she is published in a peer reviewed journal and deserves the recognition for her achievements. But she hurt my feelings, not intentionally, but her simple act of dismissing my value as a wellness provider stung my ego. I have been stewing over this for many days, trying to decipher my feelings.
On the same day, while driving to dinner, I saw a personalized license plate that states MOMSADR, no this is not my friends car, she does not have children. However, her date that night still wears his medical honor society ring (looks like a fraternity class ring to an "uneducated" eye). My initial reaction is what more do these Doctors need to prove and I question to whom they feel a need to prove it?
I feel it boils down to we all desire recognition from those we place value upon. I honestly do not know the story behind the license plate, my best guess is its a Real Wives warrior cry to keep up with the Kardasians; but to me, it has no value.
Regarding the class ring? I actually would not have even noticed the honor ring; however, my husband wears a Masonic ring (also a public display of a personal distinction) and Dr. Peds pointed out to Dr. Cardiac that John still wears (what he assumed was) his class ring. Since Dr. Cardiac teases Dr. Peds for wearing his 20 year old idolatry, I can only surmise that Dr. Peds was trying to be seen positively in the eyes of his MD girlfriend by having a similarity with my husband. Dr. Cardiac and John were really good friends in high school and she has respect for John, due to long-term friendship during the formative years. I find the irony that Dr. Peds placed no inherent value on the masonic ring a clear compliment to symbolic invalidity. The honor ring is more symbolic to his medical coulleges than it is for the likes of me. He had to clarify that the greek letters stood for a medical honor society not an undergrad fraternity.
So, when the discussion of the nutritional composition of the liver came up, she simple informed me that I do not have the medical training to truly understand the context of our discussion. End of discussion. She is right, I do not have any medical recognition; however, I do have a pre-med bachelors degree and 20 years worth of nutritional and wellness training and experience. I would have loved to hear her point of view and to perhaps share a different, non-medical understanding with her. It's not like I was asking for her to look at a mole on my back. Nonetheless, the hurt grew from the fact that I wanted to have a level of respect from her due to a long-term friendship during the formative years she had with my husband. For whom I value and respect.
Where am I now that I haven't received the recognition I feel I deserve? I realize that I don't need it. I am no less intelligent then the day before this evening and no less intelligent then any MD. I understand that doctors are humans and subject to the same insecurities and social ineptitudes that humble folk navigate. I realize that doctors also are more likely to suffer from the ill-effects of God-Complexes and false platitudes. But, more importantly, this experience has reinforced my yogic path. We are all spirits of a universal energy and that human expectations are false veils of reality. So, I thank her and wish her the best and know that I am a richer spirit for having had this experience.